Traditional Story Re-writes
For our homework, we rewrote a traditional story into modern times, using ourselves and others we know as the characters. Enjoy reading them below...
The three kids and the bad teacher.
BY LUCAS
Once upon a time there were three kids named Lucas, Josh and Bruno. There also was a really bad teacher that was called Mr Ashcroft. The three kids wanted to build their own homes but they couldn’t find the right material to make their houses so they went to a local farmer that sold the materials they wanted to buy.
Lucas wanted a house out of straw. Josh wanted a house out of wood and Bruno wanted a house out of bricks. The very bad teacher Mr Ashcroft was very angry because the three kids weren’t doing their homework so Mr Ashcroft set off to find the three kids.
He found Lucas’s house first that was made out of straw and he shouted and shouted for Lucas to do his homework and Mr Ashcroft shouted so loud that the whole house of straw shattered apart! When Mr Ashcroft saw Lucas he chased him to Josh’s house.
Josh saw Lucas running away from Mr Ashcroft he opened the door and told Lucas to go into his house. As soon as Lucas was in, Josh slammed the door closed. Mr. Ashcroft shouted and shouted at Lucas and Josh to do their homework but Mr. Ashcroft shouted so loud he destroyed the house of wood. When Mr. Ashcroft spotted Lucas and Josh he chased them all the way to Bruno’s house.
When Bruno looked outside he saw Lucas and Josh and opened the door and told Lucas and Josh to go into his house and hid. As son as Lucas and Josh were in Bruno’s house. Bruno was in such a hurry to close the door he nearly destroyed it. And again Mr Ashcroft shouted and shouted but instead of the house shattering Mr. Ashcroft’s head blew up into a million pieces. Mr Ashcroft’s head blew up because he shouted so much it just blew up!
And Lucas, Josh and Bruno lived happily ever after in the brick house that Bruno made!
The end.
The three little aliens!
BY LUCA
Once upon a time in the year 2099 there were three little green aliens on planet X. Their names were Luca, Mikee and Lennox.
One day they wanted a spaceship each. They were very poor because their job was to deliver newspaper once a week. So they decided to build one each.
The next day they went down the road to a junk shop to get all the parts and tools they would need. First of all, Mikee made his ship. It took him one day to make it. But the bad thing about his ship was that it had no door. The next day Lennox made his too. He made his out of iron and it had a door. That was good although his had no lock and that was not safe. It took him two days to build it. The next day Luca made his. Luca was very smart so he made his out of iron and it had a door with a lock.
One day a very fat, green and slimy alien came along. He loved to eat other little green aliens.
The next day he was walking down the street and he passed Mikee’s ship. He crashed through the entrance and ate Mikee in one gulp. Then he came to Lennox’s ship.He stopped and looked through the window and saw Lennox eating. He swung the door open and shoved Lennox down his throat. He carried on walking and then he saw Luca’s ship he saw Luca and tried to open the door but it was locked. He ran over to the window but it was unbreakable. So he decided to wait. Two minutes later Luca slowly opened the door then he jumped out and shot the fat alien five times in the chest. Then Luca lived happily ever after.
The End
The Three Modern Pigs and one Dragon.
BY PATRICK
Once upon a time there were 3 little piggys - Ethan, Josh and Callum. They left from their old home and decided to make their own houses. Ethan said “I am going to make a house of bricks”. Then Josh said “I am going to make a house made up of solid steel”. “Well, I’ve got the best idea” said Callum “I am going make a house of polystyrene”. So off went the three piggys and built their houses.
There was a big bad dragon called Patrick who was abandoned by his parents and was very angry about this, he was also very very very hungry and wanted some food to eat, preferably pork! So he flew around until he spotted a wee pig called Ethan. And he flew down and then he said “I will get you” but Ethan ran inside his house and said “I’m phoning the cops”. But Patrick had seriously bad breath and breathed all over Ethan’s house and knocked him out and ate him.
Still hungry, Patrick flew off and spotted Josh, breathed on him, knocked him out and ate him too.
Then, the dragon used his almighty gas to fly to the last pig. Callum saw Patrick and ran into his house of polystyrene. Patrick blew as hard as he could but Callum’s house had windows that closed so Patrick couldn’t get to him. Callum knew what to do and went outside with a gas mask and said “You are the chosen one” and then Callum gave Patrick the key to McDonalds and said “Help yourself”.
The End
Little Red Rylee Hood
BY RYLEE
One day little red Rylee hood heard that her grandma Michelle was sick . So she baked some cookies and she started to walk to her grandma's.
On the way she heard a sound. It was a wolf. The wolf name was Big Monty Wolf. It scared Little Red Rylee Hood and she ran away. The wolf knew where she was going, so he ran to Grandma Michelle’s place and she was in the toilet so the wolf locked her in there. Then Monty the wolf found Grandma Michelle’s nightie and got dressed in it, then jumped into her bed just as red rylee hood came to the door.
When Little Red Rylee Hood came in she saw her grandma in the bed. She said “What big eye's you've got!”
The wolf said “All the better to see you with my dear.”
“What big ears you have got!”
“All the better to hear you with.”
“What big teeth you have!”
“All the better to eat your cookies with.”
Then Little Red Rylee Hood heard a sqeak and a flush. Little Red Rylee ran to the toilet and she opened the door. In there was Grandma Michelle sitting on the toilet when Red looked back. She saw the wolf eating her cookies.
Just then the cops and Little Reds mum Olivia, and her friends Kailtlin the butterfly and Lilly the rabbit came running to the door. They took the wolf away to jail.
Little Red Rylee Hood made some more cookies for grandma, the friends, and her mum.
Caitlin and the Prince
BY KARA
Once there was a girl called Caitlin. She lived in a boarding house. Her room number was 4, her roomies were Petra and Steph. Next door to them were her friend’s poppy and Kara.
All day every day they walked miles to the community house where they were schooled. One day Caitlin decided to escape. She told her friends but they wouldn’t go with her because grades were too important. She packed up and set out early next morning. She took only one loaf of bread.
Once she had past most dirt road she found a little town. She went into a bakery just off from the town. The man in the bakery offered her a job to roll bread each day. She would wake up at 3:30 in the morning roll bread and go to sleep at 10:30 at night.
After about 7 seven weeks there was a grand royal ball. The baker was asked to do some of the catering so Caitlin was told of this grand event and that she would have to bake the bread and roll it. On the day of the grand ball the baker fell ill so that meant Caitlin had to deliver the bread to the palace so Caitlin decided to get a beautiful dress.
She went into the town and fantasized over dresses in Cochow. While she was dreaming about the dresses, out of the corner of her eye she saw someone familiar. She went over and “OMG, it’s Sharpy!”. Caitlin explained to Sharpy about the ball and Sharpy just gave her a dress.
When it came to the ball Caitlin got in her beautiful dress and left. When Caitlin entered the ball she saw the prince. After she had handed over the bread she went and saw the prince, they were talking and dancing all night until Caitlin said she had to go, and ran off.
On her way out the baker’s company card fell out of her dress. The next day the prince went round to the bakers and asked for Caitlin. When she had come out they started talking then left. About one year after Caitlin left, the baker got an invitation to the royal wedding of Caitlin and the prince.
My traditional story
BY SIMRAN
Once in India there was a queen called Raksha. She had 3 husbands there names were:
KING Pavan
KING Abhishek
KING Raje
The kingdom was really sad because there were no children. So the queen made a decision to do the birth pranayam [prayer.]
Soon after the queen gave birth to 8 girls. In the order of oldest to youngest the order in there names are here:
1.Princess Simran 2. princess Jothi
2.princess Ella 4. princess Bathi
5. princess Ashyria 6. princess Shyria
7. princess Radha 8. princess Kuver
The 3 kings grew very attatched to the girls. But at a stage of there life the kings had to leave. So they sent some humble servants & friends to be with the girls from NZ.
The servants were: The friends were:
Mr Ashcroft Aurora
Hoparte Mackenzie
Cody Kara
Kodie Poppy
Slena Ana P
Jacob Caitlin
Josh Rosina
Kurt Grace
Ben Madeline P
Corin Jessica
Phoenix Kennedy
Danielle & Rylan
Bronte. Rylee &
Olivia.
They played & played together and got what ever they wanted.
As they grew older they needed an education, so the boys went to school & the girls learnt what to do in day to day life [even the girls from NZ]
One day when everyone was 24 there was a competition the competition was that this the 18 sons would chose 1 girl each they liked who did the personality test would be there wife’s.
In the order of oldest to youngest here are the girls:
1. Raje & Simran, 11. Baju & Kara
2. Praduman & Jothi, 12. Dinu & Ana
3. Nathan & Ella, 13. Kishor & Caitlin
4. Ashok & Bathi, 14. Raja & Madeline
5. Amitha & Ashryia 15. Nishith & Jessica
6. Rithick & Shryia 16. Gotham & Rylee
7. Krishna & Radha 17. Rohan & Tamara
8. Girdharlal & Kuver 18. Birju & Mackenzie
9. Kishon & Rosina
10. Punjab & Grace
One day the queen saw a couple of grey hairs and made a decision to retire and give the throne to Simran’s husband because he was the husband of the oldest daughter. When the queen consulted the kings, king Pavan said ‘’NOOOO I want princess Ashriya’ s husband to be king!!!!. ‘’ Then he reminded her about the 2 boons that she gave him when she was sick he did all the cleaning and cooking. He used the 2 boons the 1st boon he used for is : for princesses Ashryia’s husband to be king. 2nd : for Simran and her husband to go to the forest for 14 years. When every one heard what he said they were shocked. Then princesses Shryia said she will come to if Simran had to go. The next day they set off all 3 of them set of for the forest. The village was sad when they left they cried for days.
They settled & made a hut. One day when Raje was out hunting an evil villain was passing and saw the two girls and said he wanted to marry one of them so he kidnap them and catch the next plane to an island called Lanka. When Raje got back he couldn’t find them any where while he was looking he found a talking bird named Jatiu and he helped Raje to try to find her and while they were looking they found a monkey that talked and he gathered a group of monkeys & bears. When they found were the girls were they were to poor to take everyone at the same time so they built a bridge across the sea. They had a huge battle in the end of the battle Raje won it and got the girls back and by the time they reached there hut 14 years was over so they returned to the city and lived haply ever after!
THE END
Little Green Hip Hop Ana
BY ANA
In the modern days, there was a little girl called ‘Little Green Hip Hop Ana’. Her mum, Rihanna, would make morning tea for Ana. But this time, she made morning tea for her grandather Mr Ashcroft, ‘cause he was sick.
So Rihanna asked Ana to take the morning tea to Mr Ashcroft, and she did (after her homework). She had to go through the woods, walking on the dirt, run across three rivers, and go on a boat to Auckland City.
Little Hip Hop Ana was glad she had a cellphone (to only call her mum) because when she came across the Sky Tower, at the hotel there was this noise - “HELP!” So Ana ran to the door and kicked it wide open. She saw her mum’s grandfather on the floor and a man escaping, who looked like David Beckham. So Ana called the cops and the front office to come. The front office people were Selena and Rylee. The cops came as well. They were Kennedy, Codey, Amedee, Hopoate, and Ethan.
The cops went into action to see who really did smash Mr Ashcroft. It took two weeks to find out. Mr Ashcroft was in hospital for six weeks. He had broken his leg, arm, had a big rash on his chest, and another bone broken in his left leg.
Ana rang her mum, Rihanna, and told everything that she knew about what happened. Rihanna fell into tears. She was crying every day.
Mr Ashcroft had an operation. Little Green Hip Hop Ana was worried ‘cause she thought her mum’s grandfather might die, but the doctors said “That is the only thing we can do to save lives”. So they did the operation and somehow Mr Ashcroft survived.
So Ana gave him what her mum had made. Mr Ashcroft ate the whole thing in 15 seconds. He was able to go out of the hospital after two days - just in case there was another injury.
The End.
USA: The escape of the deadly Luca
BY ETHAN
It was nearly 7:20 and Rob Ashcroft was in his room playing with his friends called Patrick, Jacob, Callum, and Ethan.
Then at 7:29 we heard a knock on the door. It was Rob’s mum with a parcel. Rob opened it as we sat beside him to see what it was. “It’s a dinosaur book” said Rob excited. We all looked to see who it was from. It was from the GPF, which stands for GLOBAL PROTECTION FORCE, a top secret agent force that all five of us work for.
Rob quickly pushed his mum right out of the room. We thought why the GPF would send him a dinosaur book? We all thought for a moment. Then Rob’s little glob Whizzy was spinning around, then it spat a piece of a country out. Callum picked the piece up and then put the piece on the map which was carved into the wall. Then we were sucked in it. A second later we were in the USA! We looked around us to see where we were.
Callum said “We are on a mission.”
And then Jacob said “Look there! That mad guy called Luca.”
“How do you know his name is Luca?”
“Because he has his name on his watch.”
“This must be our mission.” said Patrick
“Then what are we waiting for?” said Rob, “Let’s get into action!”
Luca did a big fart in front of the Empire State building, it collapsed then some flying dudes came out of nowhere; they were called Ana and Codey. One minute later Rob was dead. One hour later Luca was dead by the power of the four musketeers Jacob Callum Patrick and Ethan.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Looks, Sounds, Feels Chart
14 FEBRUARY
We are learning to plan for writing using a looks, sounds, feels chart.
Today, as a class, we wrote down all the words we could think of about roller coasters. We put them into an orgisational chart under the headings 'Looks like', 'Sounds like', 'Feels like' (We hope to use this type of chart to help us organise our ideas for creative writing throughout the year).
Next we selected at least one word from each column to put into a sentence. Have a look at what we wrote below...
Lucas
Scared faces scream the fear out of their faces.
Poppy
I feel dizzy as the fast roller coaster zooms across the track.
Kara
Scared faces, kids shouting, screaming, freaked out.
Jacob
Dizzy, crying kids vomiting on their parents.
Lennox
Scared faces freaking out on the roller coaster.
Mikee
The were crying with fear as they vomited.
Luca
When he went around the loop, he felt dizzy and started crying.
Simran
People screaming with fear and scared faces.
Aurora
Freaked out people, screaming and shaking.
Rylan
The boy came off the roller coaster. He felt dizzy. He was crying, also he felt like vomiting.
Bronté
Little kids screaming with fear and dizziness.
Callum
Children screaming and vomiting with dizziness.
Josh
People screaming as they looped the fearful roller coaster.
Rylee
Screaming, laughing, with scared face and fear.
Olivia
He felt sick. He cried as he screamed.
Ethan
Loop to loop with shouting people freaked out.
Byron
Crying people with scared faces and dizzy eyes.
Danielle
Little kids freaked out crying and dizzy.
Ana
Excited faces turn into scared faces with fear.
Kennedy
Excited faces when we go lots of loops, screaming, shouting and laughing. And when we get off, shaking and vomiting.
Codey
Crying people shouting with laughter, and vomiting.
Patrick
Screaming, laughing, freaked-out kids.
Kodie
People screaming and vomiting with fear.
Max
People screaming and vomiting with fear, speed, and laughter.
Selena
Scared faces when starting the ride and children with dizzy heads.
Amedee
I felt dizzy when I went on the roller coaster. People had excited faces there. Somene was crying when I got off.
Mackenzie
It was scary excited faces, all screaming and shouting.
Devin
Vomiting, screaming, dizzy children.